<%@ Language=VBScript %> <%response.buffer = TRUE%> Hello, Hello Kitty
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Hello, Hello Kitty

This strange little kitty is now a bigger part of my life than I ever thought imaginable. Of course I loved Hello Kitty as a child. I remember being mesmerized by her big white head and red bow. My mom said that I'd stand in front of the Hello Kitty stand for hours.

by Laura Rohrman
Illustration by Stephanie Russo


I think Hello Kitty hypnotized me back then, and has yet to release her spell. By the time I was seven I was asking Santa for the gigantic Hello Kitty doll. Apparently the big doll was out of the family budget and I was given the Hello Kitty colored pencils instead. I could live with that. And by the time I was a teenager, I only carried a Hello Kitty purse -- I thought I was being retro and cool. Really, I still just loved her little kitty cat face. But why?

Once in high school a girl from the other side of town saw my Hello Kitty bag and said: "I knew it, you were the kind of sissy girl who liked Hello Kitty when you were a kid."

That's it! Her ass was grass. She obviously hadn't seen my bedroom. Kid-shmid. I still liked Hello Kitty and there was nothing sissy about it. It was fashionable, it was chic. Obviously that town was too small for kitty and me. In bigger cities, like San Francisco and New York were sure to offer us more options -- and bigger Sanrio stores! We'd find other kitty lovers.

In the '80s Hello Kitty was limited in colors -- just the standard white kitty face with a red bow. Nowadays she's morphed into a sexy plaything, draped in all sorts of colors. I can have my kitty in any shape and size, even as a dildo (now that's a sacrilege).

C'mon, Hello Kitty is so standard, so trite, but still just so adorable. I no longer feel like I'm being different for having something Hello Kitty on my person, so I try not to. Even though I yearn for a jacket with a Hello Kitty decal, I refrain for professional reasons. But alas, as I look around my abode and I see that she is still the ubiquitous marker of me that I can't deny. There is a Hello Kitty necklace dangling above me, a Hello Kitty memo board, a namesake clock, some slippers that don't fit, a hot hello-t, and lots of stickers in my bag. So what? Am I obsessed?!

Once when I was under the influence of something, I believe a strange bit of truth emerged. I was cold, and in a sleepy stupor I told my roommate: "Hello Kitty calms me." He had never heard of Hello Kitty and he thought it was funny enough to write down as one of my Nonisms. Yes it's true. When I'm feeling sad or blue, a stop in the Sanrio store, and I suddenly feel a rush of calm. It's less fattening than ice cream.

These days, I get big eyes for things like the Hello Kitty suitcase, the CD player, the sandwich maker which shapes your bread like faces of the kitty, the toothbrush, and yes, I still long for the life-size doll.

One day I will be a mother, and I hope that I have a girl. I hope she's pink and sprite and loves Hello Kitty as much as I do. Maybe I'll get her the life-size doll and she'll share it with me.

Laura, a playwright and performer will be performing a bit of her "Ode to Hello Kitty" as part of an evening of her plays. Performance dates: April 12, 13 and 14th at Creative Space Theater 750 8th Avenue (6th Floor), NYC. Show starts at 7pm. Tickets are $12.00

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